Thursday, January 27, 2005
[[* Band Concert Tml *]]
Haiz, band concert is tml and the person who i was suppose to go with suddenly is not going with me, i suddenly feel that no one bothers bout me anymore lor... My heart feels so empty, i have been looking forward to go there with her, when she said that her friend wanted to tag along , i reluctantly agreed, and not she is not even going with me, i feel so sad lor... imagine looking forward to something for so long, longing for it to come sooner everyday and then it just all comes crashing down... I dun think i wanna go lor now... Haiz, i feel so realli realli sad...
My life without her seems so empty, so no meaning in life, i dun think she even thinks of me anymore, dun think she even misses the times that we had together, dun think she even cares lor... I feel happie for the way she feel happy now, but without her, my life feels so empty, i still love her, i still love her a lot...
Will Cosmo's Mummy ever come back??? Cosmo has been crying for u to come back everyday, i have been crying for u to come back everyday, would u return???
[[* .moo.moo. *]] 7:53 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005
[[* School today... *]]
So was finally back to school today, first day being single at school... KEKE... So ya, had a whole lot of lecture till i got break at 12 today, it's damn crazy lor. First lecture is history, and after that, my stomach was growling, then still had to go for GP and econs lecture. GP was kinda ok, but i wanted to sleep and i was hungry so my mind was more on food than what was being taught. Econs was fun cause of my stupid lecturer... Finally got a chance to go eat, then after that got history tutorial... And guess what, i had gastric flu during history tutorial... Funny man, dun eat i hungry, eat le got gastric flu... HAHA... But it became better so ya, school finished after tutorial and then went to the library for research... Library's like so quiet lor, compared to BSS one... I'm starting to like CJC, ya... Went home at 3 cause was tired...
Now online doing research for my history evidence... HAHA... Tml got lit test on poetry and i just realised that poetry is so hard at JC level, i understand nuts... KEKE... To think i used to do very well in BSS for lit, and i'm gonna fail at CJ cause everyone like so better than me lah... HAHA...
Anyway, missed out someone who has been helping me recover the past few days, my other mummy, Ying Xuan... HAHA... Ya... She was the one who pei me out on friday when i needed someone the most, and made me spend money on her instead of me when i was suppose to make myself happie... HAHA... Joking, but thanx for what u have done...
Ya... Jo wanna kill me for what i wrote in my last entry... HAHA... Surprisingly i'm starting to grow closer to my church frenz after the whole episode... Decided never to 'leave' them again... HAHA... They are a cool bunch to hang out with.... HAHA...
OKOK, better go do my research now, before Winter (my teacher's name) kills me... HAHA... YA...
[[* .moo.moo. *]] 5:13 PM
Sunday, January 23, 2005
[[* Happiness, Jamming , Everything... *]]
Hmm... My life these few days have been round one thing, my recent problem with her, have been trying to resolve the problem that will make both of us happy... Haiz... Kinda happy that so many frenz around me are so concern bout me, all asking me am i alrite and telling me not to be sad... Thanx Guys...
There's someone i should realli realli say thank you to, and that is my mei mei Serene... Somehow, she was the first one who asked whether i was alrite, and the first one who consoled me... I'm so thankful that i've got such a good mei mei...
Anyway, there's another dominant thing inside my life... I'm now a member of Proverbs From The Heart, the name of my band, a chirstian band who does praise and worship... Trying to convince mummy to get me a keyboard since i'm playing keyboard... Learning how to play the pieces according to the piece of paper that i get as score, but it onli has the lyrics of the songs and the accompanied chords, so it's kinda hard to play since i'm used to 5 lines score...
Yesterday i was at a meeting and a jamming session at Charles' hse with the band, our first session... Kinda happy now that i'm involved in something for Chirst, i want to be back near and beside my Father above, i miss him so much and i realise that i've drifted so far away... My first aim for the first song i'm going to write is a song about returning to the Father...
Yesterday was also out with my serene mei mei and her frenz, first time out with her, but hope it won't be the last... Keke... Ya... The reaction on her face was so funny when she pierced her ears... Keke... When i saw her pierce, me wanted to pierce again, but know i'll get killing when mummy sees it, again...
Today's my baby sister's birthday, went out to celebrate with her, had lunch with her before going for jamming at church again, first time seeing most of the ct ppl since camp, kinda miss them, esp jo... HAHA... Shhhhhhhhh... Cannot say... She'll kill... No lah, just feel that v.long haven chat with her liaoz... HAHA... No other aims...
So tml is back to school, i dun feel like going back, i dun feel like studying, i feel that i'm being sleep deprived... Just dun feel like going back...
[[* .moo.moo. *]] 8:58 PM
Friday, January 21, 2005
[[* I Love U, I still do... *]]
[[* .moo.moo. *]] 9:27 AM
[[* Have i told u i still want u back... *]]
The title of this entry is have i told u i still want u back... It means so much to me... Haiz, talked to a lot of ppl yesterday and told them how i felt, and they told me that if i think it's worth waiting for her, then continue to wait... I still want her back, somehow i miss her so much yesterday, spend the whole day just waiting to be able to call her...My life is in a total mess now lor... Anyway, i want to thank all those who consoled me last nite, my mummy charissa, my zhu zhu jie jie and most of all, ser mei mei...
I just really hope that she'll get over whatever that happen and just come back, i can't see myself living without her, i can't see myself without her, after 9 mths with her, i just realise how dependent my life is on her's, i now clearly understand the way she felt after what i did last year...
Life to me now is nothing, i dunno what to do, just can't stop thinking about her and what has gone wrong. I really hope to turn back the time and take back all the things that i've done or said to hurt u, i really hope to turn back time and be the perfect boyfriend that i once used to be, i really hope to reconcile with her and show her that i'm the one that is meant to be with her...
Haiz, so other than this, nothing much has been happening in my life, or it's more that i can't care less... Didn't go to school yesterday as i was having gastric flu and i was afraid that my mood would affect the whole class like it did last week thursday, i believe the class would stand by me and support me but i feel so selfish if i did go to school and affect everybody... Hopefully i can be back to the cheerful self that i once were, with the help of my counseller, Jesus...
Somehow, i know that everything that happens, God made it happen for a purpose, this is what i've always believed in, and though it'll be difficult to believe in this at this point in time, i'll try and i know i'll eventually believe in it...
Have i told u i still want u back...
[[* .moo.moo. *]] 9:08 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
[[* Life now... *]]
OKOK... Haven been blogging since like nuts, guess i'll start blogging again... Life has changed so much over the past year, i've been here there and everywhere in terms of nearly everything... So lets have an update on my life first...
Now currently in CJC, taking arts (stop asking me why, i like it), Econs, History, Lit (i understand nuts about it)... So ya, in class 1T01, nice class, great ppl, home tutor, more commonly known as form teacher is another great teacher, though she's kinda strict...
As for my love life, it's in a mess, trying to straighten things out with her, we've been arguing since the start of the year, probably it's because of me in JC and her in 3e1, so we've got lesser time for each other. I admit it's my fault for forcing her to keep on going out with me knowing her problems... Haiz, hope she'll forgive me and give me another chance... I still love her lotz, dun wanna give her up... To every problem, there's sure to be a solution... Ya...
So today i didn't go to school because i didn't feel like after what had happened yesterday, dunno what to do with my life now... Haiz... I envy couples who are so happie together... I hope mine would work out too... Ya...
Tml going out with the church ppl, hopefully i get to see the gab and the guys and esp my mummy, got so many things to tell her... Haiz, i think she's the onli one i can go to whenever something happened in my life... She's the onli one whom when i talk to, i'll feel very peaceful... Perhaps it's the work of The Lord... Anyway, saturday having a meeting at Charles' hse i think... Joined them in forming a band called Proverbs from the Heart... We jam and do praise and worship to the Almighty Lord, cause he deserve it...
Ya... Hopefully the next time i blog, i won't have so much problems and nonsense... Anyway, hope to keep on blogging and make it a habit... Ya...
To her: I'm sorri for everything i've done to make u so hurt... I still love u...
[[* .moo.moo. *]] 1:24 PM
